Holland's birth

On April 22nd, 2015 our sweet girl Holland Laurel was born. I had gone to the doctor the day before and since I wanted to try for a VBAC my doctor wanted to induce me the next day (at 39 weeks) before she got too big or I went over my due date.

 Nate and I arrived at the hospital that morning and my doctor broke my water (I was a few cm dilated already and had been having lots of contractions that week so I was SO hoping I would be able to avoid another c-section). After a few hours of contractions that were regular but not super strong, she started me on a tiny bit of pitocin. After a c-section, I wasn't supposed to have too much of it so I was hoping that would speed things up. It did! A few hours later my contractions were very strong (and very painful!). My nurse had checked me a little bit earlier and I was still only 4 cm dilated, however. She left the room telling me that I still had 3 or 4 more hours plus to go most likely. Not what I wanted to hear being in so much pain.After she left, the only way I can explain it is that my contractions suddenly just intensified by 100! I was texting my sister who has had 2 natural births and telling her that there was no way I could do this for 3 or 4 more hours. I have never in my life felt like that and the knowledge that I still had hours to go sort of sent me into despair that I would not be able to do a natural birth like I had wanted. Pitocin also causes everything to intensify, and I knew it would get worse so I finally conceded and asked for an epidural.

By the time the poor anesthesiologist came into the room I felt like I seriously could not do the whole labor thing for a second longer. I asked the nurse to please check me again as I really felt like this baby was about to be born (I realized later that I was in transition but didn't know it at the time. If I had known, I would not have asked for the epidural b/c it would have all been over soon!) She told me she would check my dilation after the epidural, seemingly unconcerned that I felt like a baby was about to come out of my body! Then, when I sat up to get the spinal I really thought I was going to have the baby right that second. Honestly, I was a little annoyed (and in such pain) that the nurse wasn't listening to me. Like most women in the midst of labor I did not feel calm, cool or collected at all but was trying to avoid screaming at there that I really did think I was about to have the baby. Like right that second.

After the epidural she checked me and realized I was indeed 10 cm and basically ready to deliver! At this point the anesthesiologist who was packing up said, "That epidural might take 20 or 30 minutes to kick in." My doctor had come in and said "Well in 20 minutes she will be holding a baby!" Sure enough Holland was born right after that. That was by far the fastest labor I have ever experienced, going from 4 cm to 10 in about 20 minutes! I was beyond grateful that I was able to have a VBAC and was technically unmedicated until after it was too late (the epidural did indeed kick in after Holland was born, just as I was holding her and of course I was mad at myself for getting it in the first place since now I was confined to the bed for the next few hours, not being able to walk!) But all in all, it was an amazing experience for me, knowing it was likely our last baby:) I was just trying to enjoy all of the moments, even amidst the pain of childbirth.

  First picture of us right after she was born!

 Nate's parents were at our house watching Drew and Harper and they brought them to the hospital that afternoon. Both were so excited to see her (and to touch every. single. button in the room, accidentally calling in nurses, "adjusting" my bed, etc.") But they were so sweet with her right away.

 Car ride home from the hospital…she looks so bundled up but even though it was late April it was chilly outside!

  Harper was there to greet us at the door.

  Nate's mom made another quilt for our kids…she made it similar to Harper's but still unique for Holland. We love all of the kids' quilts…such a sweet gift for each of them!

  Andrew clearly adores his baby sister. From the moment she arrived he has been helping me take care of her, calming her down when she is upset and being a sweet brother (even if he is a little loud and in her face:)